im leaving for college tomorrow...

this summer has been a big rollercoaster. most of the time it was the twisty-turny parts of the coaster and those are the really exciting and great parts of my summer. but the parts where you're on the train track part and the loading and unloading has been really stressful and those are the shitty parts of the summer. right now i'd say im at the unloading deck part of my summer. its coming to an end and its all really stressful, for several reasons. this boy i've been talking to for six months has just decided he wants to be in a relationship when im getting ready to leave for school. but just about.. an hour or so ago he texts me and was flipping out and im just really confused and i dont know what to do. i mean i know its dumb going to school with a boyfriend at home and knowing him, if you knew him, he's just really not boyfriend material.. even if i were staying home so going to school with him as my boyfriend would just be pointless. it's just really painful to think about leaving and think about him because i do like him but i dont wanna be that girl that can't move on... and be stuck on one person and even if it could work out, i dont want to miss out on something even if he wanted to be with me. its my time to do my shit and go out and live my life. im moving on but its like a ball and chain type of feeling, only hes the type of guy not to feel the same way. he's just... not for me i guess. i cant help but cry when i reflect back on the summer. i hope it wasnt a complete waste of time. because that was one of the best summers ive had.
today has been the worst though. i had to say my final goodbyes to half my friends who havent left yet and then today when i was on my way to my aunt's house, i got a speeding ticket! fricken ay my last day and i get a ticket. thats a nice boot in the ass. like k, get the fuck outta here now. like we dont want you anymore, this is just a warning. i knew it. i shouldve been expecting something bad from him today because hes mad im leaving and hes not. tomorrow is my cousin's birthday.. i really miss him. i wish he was still here...

i feel like ive lost everything..

so i graduated! woo last weekend, and i had my grad party this past saturday. i got drunk. and then went out and got drunk again. but umm.. i got pulled over.. and got a ticket, not even in my own car! ah but my parentals weren't mad cause im gunna pay for it. and it was my first ticket. it was at an intersection and this is how out of it i was... i went through without even realizing the light was red. im an idiot. but summer's been great so far. im single, im hot and i have the best family and friends ever.
the only sucky part of my life right is that my car needs to be fixed.. and i have a cold. but hey i have a pool in my yard and my best friend is right around the corner. i just dont know how im supposed to get to work tomorrow. ah hopefully my car is fixed atleast by like thursday. cross your fingers.


me and my friend Kerry - last week of studio paint


girls night (gabby, paige & me)

was amazingg. i love everyone andd my dress! it was poppinnn.
ill only post a couple shots tho. the after party was good too. i laaa mah boy <3 he soo cute!


yeah i'm in the yellow .. and a bit scandalous! haha..


and that's carlo :) mad cuteeeee!


there's another one ahaha..

yeah so things are good lately with him i guess. i like kissing him and i've been spending a lot of time with him A LOT of time but yeah sometimes it's just hard cause around his friends i feel like i can't act like us. you know? i don't know i think i should just to see how he'd be. AWH he got his first tattoo yesterday and i was there! then we smoked two blunts haha.. it was fun. i like him. SHIT .. hahaaa :)